In your journey to better yourself with better mental and emotional performance, to achieve your dreams and goals you are going to feel like the Lone Ranger at times, or most of the time. For the most part people are not going to get what you are doing and where you are going. Let’s face it, if they did they would be doing the same thing as you and be on a similar journey. This can get to be a huge frustration and eventually a detriment to your moving forward and achieving your dreams and goals if you don’t come to grips with this. Truly this is just more of annoyance than anything else once you realize what’s going on, but until you come to grips with that fact, it can get a bit lonely when you are striving for change in your life and it can seem like a big issue. Read on and learn a bit more about why it’s okay to be the “Lone Ranger” when you are pursuing your dreams and goals.
There are a number of reasons why people won’t “get what you are trying to do. One reason is that they truly don’t know any better when it comes to having dreams and goals. They don’t have any of their own so why would they understand yours. It’s sad to think about. I’ve been through this twice myself as I’ve worked through my own dreams and goals. The first time was when I was learning to fly and getting on my way to having a career in aviation. The folks that I was working with just didn’t get, they didn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. The other time is now as I write this article. The people I am working with just don’t understand at all why I would want to put in the time effort and hard work to achieve a goal. You have to understand that for those types of people, all they have ever done was to look for a job that they can call home. They just want to go to work at what I call mind-numbing jobs, punch the clock and get paid. It just never occurs to them that there is a better way so they will never understand what you are going through and where you are headed. It’s best to just not let them know what you are up to and save yourself the frustration of trying to explain yourself.
Another reason that people won’t “get” your dreams and goals and the struggles it takes to achieve them, is that they haven’t been through what you’ve been through and experienced it. Especially emotional goals. If they haven’t been through it they certainly won’t get it. In fact, they might even be the cause and reason you are pursuing an emotional goal. You can tell them all day how tough it is to change your mindset and train your thinking, but if they haven’t been through the same process they won’t have a clue as to what you are doing and have been through. That can be frustrating when people may be genuinely interested in you, and you would like to share what you have learned so far in your journey.
One word of caution about letting people know what kind of emotional/thinking goals you are working on. I truly would advise against letting anyone know about this kind of goal setting unless it is someone you are partnering up with. The reason being is that most people have never taken the time to do any mental/emotional work of their own and yet they will feel compelled give you the benefit of their “wisdom” and advice which amounts to nothing more than folksy sayings and stale internet memes. I don’t know about you but it annoys me to no end to have someone who doesn’t have any idea what they are talking about try and give me advice.
One of BIG reasons that people will give you resistance toward what you are doing is because of nothing more than sheer jealousy. They feel that anyone who is attempting to better themselves, in whatever way, makes them look bad. They won’t expend any energy themselves to do anything different to change their lives, but heaven help the person that is in close proximity to a jealous when they start making changes in their lives. You cannot reason with a jealous type of person trying to make them understand what you are about. Jealous people are toxic and caustic and you won’t be able to take them head on in a frontal assault. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is really the only way to deal with this type of person. Even then, you may have to endure some toxic “grenades” that have been lobbed over your boundary. It’s best to just sidestep them and move on.
Any one, or all of these scenarios can be difficult when it is a family member, or members. Or, a friend that you love and trust. Family is just difficult because, well, you can’t pick your family and if you are the odd one out, the outlier in your family that is doing something different than everyone else, chances are you are going to be taking some heat. It’s easier to practice disregarding other people’s lack of respect or understanding for what you are trying to do than it is family, most of us truly wanting the validation of our family even if we aren’t close-knit. You will have to determine just how much information to share and what not to share. As I said in the above paragraph, I would advise against sharing too much with people that won’t be supporting your dreams and goals, including family.
If you are trying to achieve a dream, goal, or desire in order to get the validation of others then you are truly on the wrong track. It’s as simple as that. Remember that most people aren’t going to “get” what you are doing whether your motivations for doing such are pure and healthy or not. When you are looking for validation of your self by working towards some goal or dream and expecting validation, praise, and accolades from others you are in for one big let down. Your validation has to come from within in when you realize your worth as human being, and that worth coming from God.
It is frustrating to not be able to communicate your struggles, goals/dreams with someone, let alone those you trust and expect to give you support. The fact is that most people won’t support you in your endeavors. Mostly it is going
to have to come from within your own self. You might be able to search around for a small core of people (thank goodness now for the Internet and forums) to help you along with your journey, but still you need to be careful. Most still won’t know what you are talking about. Truly the only thing you can really do is to strengthen yourself up, and pursue your dreams and goals nearly by yourself. I know that flies in the face of conventional wisdom, but who else can you trust?
If you think about it in another way, as you pursue your dreams and goals you will also get some things you didn’t bargain for in the beginning when you started your journey. You will build inner strength that you didn’t know you had. You will gain wisdom and insight into people and how to deal with them more effectively. You will learn how to communicate better even though most of the time people still won’t get what you are trying to tell them (for any of the reasons stated above). And if you persevere you’ll achieve your dreams and goals too.